Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Theater Crowd

I have written about this topic before and I am slowly getting tired of writing about it. Seattle theater is probably the worst among the desi theaters I have seen. Makes the Irving theater look like Sathyam. The sound system is horrible and the volume unacceptably low. Which makes the usual noisy, manner-less desi theater crowd all the more annoying. This time, instead of the usual idiot-boys gang, we had a gang of 10 or so girls seated in front of us and the rest of their gang (another 5 girls) seated behind us. Maybe they were students or maybe they were having a wives-day-out thingie. But every single one of them were annoying. I wish all the theater chairs were electrically wired so that I could zap the shit out of every annoying female.

These girls had come along to cheer Surya and jollu vittufy him. Fair enough - completely normal. Somewhere along the line they thought there comments were funny, that they were cool or worse that they were doing "samaaa galatta". This is where I began to have problems. Frankly, I have seen very few women who are genuinely humorous. Very few. These women were not among them. The "great progress that women have made so far" (seinfeld reference) in a variety of fields does not extend to the field of "theater galatta". Based on the evidence on display in the theater, the feminist movement has a long way to go in this department. These girls were making "kekke bukke" jokes and howling (not even properly) like donkeys every time Surya came on screen. Not a single comment was impressive. And they were talking continuously throughout the movie. Apparently one of the idiots was called "shanthi" and so every time the "shanthi" song played, people in the back row yelled "shaanthi". To which she vazhinjufied "adi po ya" or some shit like that. The back row continued to yell her name even after the joke had been killed and buried after 10 such yells. This unfortunately made that girl think that she was some sort of a cool gansta head chic. So she starts to yell lousy, un-funny and totally boring comments.

Men weren't much better. An idiot behind me kept asking his wife "what will happen next?". Every scene he wanted to know what will happen next to Meghna, Surya, Priya and a host of other characters. His expression of intense curiousity continued until his wife shut him up with "padatha paathu tholaiyen". Shouting comments in theaters should be left to niche audiences in Madras. Nobody in America should even try for it. In general, people should shut up and let others watch the movie. Reminds me of this guy (he owns the lolluexpress web page), who came to watch a movie in Columbus, OH. He had come alone (as in wasn't part of a gang) and kept making these stupid comments through out the movie (he kept calling out every actor's name and said "hey - he looks like a police constable man"). Until someone shouted back and asked him to shut up. Finally he had to leave the theater. What bugs me is the thought that this Shanthi and gang will go home and tell their husband/friends, "we had sooooo much fun ya! theater'la orey galatta panni kallakittom theriyuma".

18 comments:

Ram said...

Ha ha ha!! Irving was fun man and we were the kinda noisy ones out there.. especially when we went in with Balaji ;)

Do you think this gangsta girl took the name Shanti just for this movie show?

Hawkeye said...

Ram,

I went with Balaji to "crouching tiger..." (my second in dallas) and I swear he almost got all of us kicked out with his comments. Poor other people.

Sriram said...

Hello, nice post.

One of your tags for this post is 'mudri nayee'. Whats that?

Nayee = Dog. What is Mudri?

Just curious.

Anonymous said...

now it makes sense why VA wasn't boring and draggy for u. U had other "stuffs" to concentrate on.

rads said...

ROFL!
Agree on theater galatta to be left to madras audiences.
LOL@what will happen next.

My dad would've actually told them to shutup and we'd be sitting there with ur heads in hands ducking in embarrassment, but truly, that works tho!

@sriram: Perhaps "mudri" means - shutup. :)

Super rant. :)

Karthick Prabu said...

LOLLLz. The last line is ultimate. The coincidence of the name 'shanti' still makes the post funny.

Raghu said...

Hahahahaha.....good one Bharath...I just hope one of those annoying garrrls...reads this post.

I still regret why I didn't tell those stupid dumb women to 'STFU'...!! There's always the next time - as stupid folks never learn.

Extra-Ordinarily Ordinary said...

Hawkeye,

I believe these kinda desi experiences have left me with a deep distaste for any desi group with more than 3 makkal... In theaters, it gets even worser with para mokka comments - and worst of all - in tampa, for Dasavadharam, I saw 'ladeeees' distributing malligai poo or some flower to each other which was brought in a thooku paathram.... EKSI!!

Gradwolf said...

This is quite a big problem and it affects everyone's movie viewing experience. I know you love movies, and like I do, I guess you become very involved with the movie too(correct me if am wrong). But there'll be a set of people, who'd never get the bigger picture but focus on small flaws or unconventional parts of the movie, make mokka comments and generally have a good time. This also influences their opinion about the movie. This is that thin line where mass and class meet and you have all the rendu gantans. And when they pass comments for the heck of it, it really gets annoying.

P.S: Of course, there are people, with decent sense of humor, who enjoy the movie but also pass good comments at the same time!

Venkat said...

Shouting comments in theaters should be left to niche audiences in Madras.

:D

whencatrawman said...

True dude .... The art of theater fun is slowly dying ....

I remember watching Alaipayudhe with some really funny comments coming from a gang in the 'pathu rooba' ticket category .. Every time Madhavan made advances towards Shalini, the gang made fun of Ajith. The peak being "Ajith'u, mosam poyitiye da" when Madhavan tries to kiss Shalini .....

JTMP said...

Shouting comments in theaters should be left to niche audiences in Madras. Nobody in America should even try for it.

"That's gotta hurt!" (Seinfeld reference(Just realized that specifying the reference in parenthesis like you seems very wannabe))

Anu Russell said...

ROFL!!!

Ya Irving theater sux! Hollywood theater rocks though only hindi movies...damn!


Gawddamn...think I am the only female commenter so far!!!

BTW enjoyed watching Padayappa in Abirami two rows away from the front benchers...comments were awesome and we could not stop laughing...had to watch the movie again though...theater la onume ketkale...

Now I wonder, how many times have me and my friends done the GALATTA and thought we were cool...thanga mudiyala da swamiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

Anu Russell said...

BTW is that Sriram a Peter boy?

MLC said...

LOL! i cud ttly imagine gettng irritated @ stupid commnts!! ingey LA le, we were jollu vuttufyng and generally whistlin fr those "6 abs" or if suriya was movng around w/out a shirt:-p... but def. nt commntng fr each dialogue, which is so annoyng!
but ther was this guy sittng in frnt who kept repeatng the "kiddo" thingy, whnever it was said and it was bloody irritatng!! palaar nu aranjitu varanum pola irundhadhu!

Anonymous said...

nee po hawk

T

Anonymous said...

mudree nayee, I have heard this somewhere before??

Hawkeye said...

sriram,

"mudree naye" is a very common term in madras. most college folks use it. it is "the great gounder's" legacy to the land of thamizh naadu.

anon,

unfortunately, yes.

rads,

my dad did the same thing everywhere. we actually learnt from it.

KP,

thanks.

raghu,

:-)


LKS,

thooku pathram is kinda shocking.


adi,

/* But there'll be a set of people, who'd never get the bigger picture but focus on small flaws or unconventional parts of the movie, make mokka comments and generally have a good time. This also influences their opinion about the movie. */


brilliant. you have captured the exact core issue that I wanted to bring out but did not in my post dasa reviw.

venkat,

:-)

venkatraman,

:-). My memories of good theater comments are as old as anjali and thalapathi.


JTMP,

i used to put in in tags and not in paranthesis before then people started leaving comments that I was ripping off seinfeld - so its more of a deterrent now.


anu,

/*Gawddamn...think I am the only female commenter so far!!! */

nope rads commented before :-) watching rajini movie in abhirami is an experiecnce in itself.


MLC,

i think if the same mokkai comment was done in madras arainjirupaanga.


Tilo,

nandri hai :-)

anon,

yes. you have.